Nah, re re with the horrible facial tat, you're chill.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Friday, April 23, 2010
Nah, you're chill: Version Retro
ENCHANTRESS FROM BEAUTY AND THE BEAST.
So it's totally cool to show up in the middle of a dark and stormy night and curse a ten-year old for not letting you into his castle, right?
Yes, the Beast from Beauty and the Beast was ten years old when that sketchy probably-a-molester enchantress cursed him for not letting her in. (Do the math: "Ten years we've been rusting / Needing so much more than dusting" from "Be Our Guest," plus the curse breaking on Beast's 21st birthday means that unless Lumiere is a giant liar, Beast was TEN.)
So, you show up looking like the witch from Snow White who any good Disney child should know you should never take stuff from, in the middle of a super creepy storm while this kid's parents probably aren't home, given that he's answering the door, and expect him to let you in, in exchange for A ROSE? Seriously, at least bring some candy like a decent pedophile. And when he's like, "No, I'm sorry, my parents are in the bath (because the minstrel shows on kidnapping told him to say that when his parents weren't home) and I can't let you in without their permission," it's totally a proportionate response to turn him into a beast and all his servants into furniture, right?
You're probably gonna curse me for saying this, but nah, crazy enchantress lady, you're chill.
So it's totally cool to show up in the middle of a dark and stormy night and curse a ten-year old for not letting you into his castle, right?
Yes, the Beast from Beauty and the Beast was ten years old when that sketchy probably-a-molester enchantress cursed him for not letting her in. (Do the math: "Ten years we've been rusting / Needing so much more than dusting" from "Be Our Guest," plus the curse breaking on Beast's 21st birthday means that unless Lumiere is a giant liar, Beast was TEN.)So, you show up looking like the witch from Snow White who any good Disney child should know you should never take stuff from, in the middle of a super creepy storm while this kid's parents probably aren't home, given that he's answering the door, and expect him to let you in, in exchange for A ROSE? Seriously, at least bring some candy like a decent pedophile. And when he's like, "No, I'm sorry, my parents are in the bath (because the minstrel shows on kidnapping told him to say that when his parents weren't home) and I can't let you in without their permission," it's totally a proportionate response to turn him into a beast and all his servants into furniture, right?
You're probably gonna curse me for saying this, but nah, crazy enchantress lady, you're chill.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
1. Dress Slutty. 2. Cause Earthquake?
"Many women who do not dress modestly ... lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes," Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi was quoted as saying by Iranian media.
Nah, Iranian cleric, you're chill.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Nah, you're chill on RABIES?
Apparently you guys are (who the hell ARE you, by the way? We thought we were the only people reading this.)
LOL, readers who found us via search, you're chill.
LOL, readers who found us via search, you're chill.
You will look into Theodore's eyes, yes? And you will let him harvest your soul, so he can store it in a tree for the winter?
Nah, Chipmunk Satan, you're chill.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
So looking like a bedazzler vomited all over me and my duct-tape dress is a good look, right?
Nah, "Miss Tila" (yeah, she wants to be referred to as "Miss Tila" now), you're chill.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Friday, April 9, 2010
This is what you meant when you said you wanted diamonds and a kiss right?
Wait.. Nah you're chill?
Well fuck there goes 4 easy installments of $24.75 down the drain.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
"This, in turn, will lead to more child sexual assaults,"
So apparently there's this prosecutor in Wisconsin who is telling teachers they could go to jail for teaching sex-ed:
Nah, Crazy Prosecutor Guy, you're chill.
"Forcing our schools to instruct children on how to utilize contraceptives encourages our children to engage in sexual behavior, whether as a victim or an offender," Southworth wrote in the March 24 letter. "It is akin to teaching children about alcohol use, then instructing them on how to make mixed alcoholic drinks."
The new law requires schools that teach sex education to include curriculum about birth control and sexually transmitted diseases as part of comprehensive classes. But Southworth said it essentially forces school districts to "instruct children on sex-for-pleasure." And in his letter, he warned the law promotes the sexual assault of children, exposes teachers to possible criminal liability, undermines parental authority, requires districts to condone controversial sexual behavior, gives the contraceptive industry access to school children and may expose districts to civil litigation.
"This, in turn, will lead to more child sexual assaults," he said in the letter.
Nah, Crazy Prosecutor Guy, you're chill.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Sexy Nurse? Check. Sexually Confused Pirate? Check. Black Face? Wait...what?
(Latin TV Channel Subway Ad)Nah, you're chill.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Friday, April 2, 2010
I thought this was an April Fool's joke
"...so, 24 miles long, about seven miles wide at the least widest, uh, place on the island, about twelve miles wide on the widest part of the island, and um... I don't know how many square miles that is..."
1. LEAST WIDEST?
2. Why are we electing people who cannot do simple math?
3: "My fear is that the island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and, uh, capsize."
Who is responsible for this?
Oh, of course. Thanks, Georgia. Nah, you're chill.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
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